SIMPLY GRACE Now
Holiday 2024
The winter holiday season can bring with it not only the sting of cold air, but also the
sting of regret.
“Regret is the painful sensation of recognizing that ‘what is’ compares unfavorably with
‘what might have been.’ “– Robert Sugden

“Regret is a hybrid emotion, a composite of many different feelings. People troubled with regret often
confuse the feeling with guilt, depression, self-pity, or sorrow. For every choice we make we give up a
host of other options, which will always leave us open to feelings of longing for the options we
abandoned. We can resolve the pain of regret by understanding that both ‘what might have been’ and
‘what is’ are inextricable in the human experience. Used well, the pain of ‘if onlys’, wrong turns, and
roads not taken can play a singularly important part in the search for a more meaningful life.” –
Overcoming Regret by Carol Klein and Richard Gotti
Regret becomes much less intense when we look back on a decision and recognize that there was a
good reason to think we were making the right choice at that particular time.
People are often more likely to regret inaction than action. “What we regret most are our failures of
courage; the courage to be kinder, to show up, to say how we feel, to set boundaries, to be good to
ourselves, to say yes to something scary.” – Brene’ Brown
According to Daniel Pink in The Power of Regret, there are four different types of regret.
Foundation Regrets:
These are the regrets from not “doing the work”. Not laying the foundation for a more
stable and less precarious life. Things like not saving money for retirement. Not getting a
certain degree or not exercising and eating right to take good care of your body.

Moral Regrets:
Regrets in which you did the wrong thing. Bullying and infidelity are examples, or choices
of unkindness.

Connection Regrets:
“If only I’d reached out,” is the telltale sign of a connection regret. It is the largest
category of regrets, and they are about relationships – family, friendships, romantic
and beyond.

Boldness Regrets:
Boldness regrets are about a chance that wasn’t taken. You chose to play it safe.
“These four types of regrets reveal what humans value. They have something to teach us. They reveal a
deep human need. The human need for growth is linked to boldness regrets. With moral regrets, the
need is goodness. With foundation regrets, it’s stability. And with connection regrets, the human need
is love.”
Impacts of Regret:
Feelings of regret can lead to muscle tension, sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, headaches,
muscle pain, joint pain, chest pain, breathing issues, etc.
Ruminating on past regret can lead to symptoms of anxiety, depression, poor self-esteem, helplessness
and hopelessness. Obsessing over regrets steals our joy and can become a barrier to what God wants
to do now.
Antidotes to Overcoming Regret:
Recognize and review
Release through forgiveness and surrender
Redeem through giving yourself grace and mercy
Renew your mind, trust God and dream again
form things; do not dwell on the
Gratitude can also be an antidote to regret. It helps us to be mindful of the present and not dwell in
the past. It opens the door to acceptance and appreciation for what we have, rather than longing for
what we don’t have.
Working through issues of regret is a step in our counseling process that can benefit our clients.
“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the
wilderness and streams in the wasteland. “Isaiah 43:18
In order to simplify and reduce expenses, we relocated our office in August to a smaller space in
Alpharetta. It is proving to be a good decision, so far. Thank you to those who regularly support us
through your prayers and donations.

HAVE A BLESSED, PEACE-FILLED HOLIDAY SEASON!
Ken & Debbie
Simply Grace Holistic Counseling & Coaching
2300 Lakeview Pkwy., Suite 700, Alpharetta, GA 30009
678-965-4055 simply-grace.org